An Old Year, A New Year

As everyone (hopefully) is aware, we have reached the end of 2014. So Happy New Year! It has been quite the adventure-filled year for me, and I have frequently found myself looking around wondering how in the world I got to where I am. I know of course that it meant 2 plane rides, a bus, and several hours of driving up mountains, but that’s not really where I’m going with this :) But really, my life oftentimes feels quite surreal. I have to admit though, that now that I have been living in this place for over 6 months, it’s not the way of life here that seems surreal. Instead, the thing that surprises me the most is the way that I find I have adjusted to life here. It doesn’t seem strange anymore that I am much more likely to eat a meal with a tortilla rather than a fork. It’s perfectly normal to walk around and not see a single person talking on their cell phone (thanks to their being no cell service up here!). It’s also just an average day when my conversations are held in some combination of three different languages, with a lot of confusion and mispronounced words in all three. Basically it’s just weird to realize that I am a different person than I was at the beginning of the year. I have had to learn to adjust to a lot of things that make me, or at least used to make me, uncomfortable. I have learned just how many things about life that I always took for granted, just to learn how differently people can see things. Basically, this year has caused me to learn so much, and to change in so many ways.

I wish I could say that all of these changes have been good, that I am now a much better person than I used to be, but that just isn’t the truth. If anything, these past months have served to show me how very sinful and selfish I am with my time. I jealously hoard my time, being unwilling to give up what I had planned for myself, even when an opportunity arrises to go out into the community. I know that I have missed open doors because I was unwilling to do what made me uncomfortable. I have many regrets from 2014, but I also have many memories of blessings. Even though I have failed so many times, God has continued to forgive my failures, and to help me to push through the numerous awkward, uncomfortable days that have come my way. It is so encouraging to know that He will continue to be there, that despite my mistakes, He can make something beautiful out of my life. As you welcome in the new year, will you pray that God will make Himself known all over the world in 2015? Pray that He will give me the boldness to share with the people here in this community, and pray that He will also give you the boldness to share in your community, wherever that may be. 

What Commitment Looks Like

Today is a special day in my family. No, it’s not one of the 17 bagillion birthdays that we celebrate every year. Instead, today is the day that my parents are celebrating 30 years of marriage! Since I can’t be with them to celebrate this big milestone, this blog will have to serve as my Happy Anniversary to them :)

So, in case any of you out there don’t know my parents, let me tell you a bit about them. 

My Dad is an accountant, which basically means that he is good with numbers. Growing up that also meant that he was the one we would all go to whenever we were learning a new kind of math problem, and couldn’t sort it out. I couldn’t tell you how many hours Dad spent working on algebra and geometry between all of us running to him for help with homework! He is also pretty good at wearing a lot of hats. Looking back I can remember him being my teacher, banker (he made me fake checks and everything!), jewelry repairman, hair stylist, cook, and king of spring cleaning. My Dad is the one who taught me how to drive, and then came to my rescue all of the many times I had car issues (fell asleep driving, flat tires, transmission failure, icy roads, etc.). And even though it doesn’t happen very often, (I have 9 siblings don’t you know), I always love getting to spend one-on-one time with my Dad. He isn’t perfect, but he’s pretty great anyway.

My Mom is pretty amazing too. I have no idea how, but she has managed to survive raising 10 kids who have a tendency to get sick, to break bones, to fight with each other, and to find trouble or drama wherever they go. Who knows how many trips she has made to the doctor’s office, not to mention all of the trips to the grocery store to keep up with the appetites of all of those teenage boys! Mom was the one who taught me to love cooking and baking, even letting me have the run of the kitchen when I got the urge to get my hands in some cookie dough. She taught me to read, gave me my first books and, when I got old enough, signed me up to volunteer at the library, making my addiction to reading a permanent thing. When I got my first job at Chick-Fil-A, she was the one who drove back and forth to drop me off and pick me up because I was too young to drive, plus she always kept my uniform clean and grease free for me :)

Now, these are just a few of the things my parents have done for me over the years, but the biggest thing of all is something that can be seen in their lives today, in the fact that they have stayed together for 30 years. My parents are committed. I know, because I was there for most of it, that the last 30 years haven’t always been easy for my parents. Their kids have driven them crazy, their jobs have driven them crazy, they’ve driven each other crazy. But they stuck it out. These days sometimes I think it’s more likely to hear about someone’s 3rd wedding rather than their 3rd year wedding anniversary, but my parents have stuck with each other for 3 whole decades. I am so grateful for their example of what commitment looks like. Not only are they committed to each other, but they are committed to following God. I have countless memories of my parents talking to us as kids about what it means to follow God, and to obey Him. They taught us to read our Bibles, to pray, to serve others, and to love God above everything else. They taught us to be a part of the church body, even when it isn’t perfect, and do what we can to share God’s love with others. It’s because of my parents’ example that I am where I am, and why I am committed to staying, even when it isn’t easy.

I love you Mom and Dad. Happy Anniversary!

: )

Finding My Motivation

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were supposed to be doing something, and you knew that it was a good thing to do, but you just couldn’t find the motivation to get up and actually do it?

Well, for me, that happens a lot…(And I’m not just talking about when I don’t feel like getting out of my warm bed and walking around in the cold concrete house!).

My full time job right now is learning a third language. There is a part of me that finds this absolutely thrilling. I have loved studying languages for as long as I can remember, whether it be American Sign Language, Spanish, French, Italian, whatever. For some reason I’ve just always enjoyed learning how to say random phrases in other languages. So being here in this village and actually being paid to learn another language is in some ways a dream come true.

There is another part of me, though, that just wants to find things to complain about. Despite the fact that God has opened SO many doors in this community, and that I have already learned so much in the short time that I have been studying this language, I find myself feeling discouraged and, to be perfectly honest, straight up grumpy. I start complaining, whether to myself, to my teammates, or to God, whining about not having a normal class to go to, or having to plan what I’m going to study for myself. Even when I am able to find people who are willing to teach me, I get frustrated because they use a slightly different pronunciation, or they use a few words from a different dialect, or some such small thing that inconveniences me as I try and learn. 

As you can tell, I am a sinful, ungrateful, lazy human being. Even though God has given me so much, and He asks so little of me, I turn around and complain about what He hasn’t given me, and about what I have to do for myself. This is a battle I have been fighting recently. 

I don’t really know where this question came from, but tonight I found myself thinking through this language learning struggle, and I started to ask, “Where is my motivation coming from?” Well, God, because He is God and knew that I needed a bit of a wakeup call to the absurdity of my attitude, reminded me of a song that I learned earlier this year. The song is called “The Cost” by Rend Collective, and the lyrics (see below) are words of surrender to God’s calling. 

That is where I need to find my motivation. I need to find it in the fact that God has brought me here, that He called me to come and learn the language of these people, to work against the repercussions of the sins of the people of Babel so many years ago in order to share Light with people who are trapped in darkness. 

I have no doubt that, despite my good intentions, I am going to have plenty of days where I not only don’t want to get out of bed, but I most definitely don’t want to go out and try to learn a challenging language. I also have no doubt that God deserves for me to make every effort to serve Him to the best of my abilities. I’ve counted up the cost, and HE IS WORTH IT. 

I’m saying yes to you

And no to my desires

I’ll leave myself behind and follow You.

I’ll walk the narrow road

‘Cause it leads me to You

I’ll fall but grace will pick me up again.

I’ve counted up the cost,

Oh I’ve counted up the cost,

Yes I’ve counted up the cost and You are worth it.

I do not need safety as much as I need You

You’re dangerous but Lord You’re beautiful.

I’ll chase You through the pain

I’ll carry my cross

‘Cause real love is not afraid to bleed.

I’ve counted up the cost

Oh I’ve counted up the cost

Yes I’ve counted up the cost and You are worth it.

I’ve counted up the cost

Oh I’ve counted up the cost

Yes I’ve counted up the cost and You are worth it.

Jesus take my yolk

Take my everything

I’ve counted up the cost

You’re worth everything

Jesus take my yolk

Take my everything

I’ve counted up the cost

You’re worth everything

I’ve counted up the cost

Oh I’ve counted up the cost

Yes I’ve counted up the cost and You are worth it.

Why I'm a fake extrovert

As my dear friends and family back in Arkansas can testify, I am an introvert. Thanks to a childhood surrounded by loud, energetic siblings, an unfortunate encounter with about 40 yellow jackets as a little girl, and a love of books that has only grown over the years, I have a tendency to keep to myself. So when I told people that I was going to move to Mexico for two years to do missions, it’s not really shocking that people were a bit surprised. If I remember correctly, one friend’s words were something along the lines of, “You’re pretty much the last person I would have expected to do something like this.” Well, I felt the same way. 

You see, I like being an introvert. It gives me an excuse for not doing things. Sure, you miss out on a few things maybe, but you get to stay where it’s comfortable (like curled up with a good book, or sitting quietly out of the way where you won’t have to make awkward small talk). And when someone in church is encouraging you to go out and share the Gospel with people at work, or in class, or wherever you go, you can say, “I wish I could do that, but I’m an introvert. The extroverts are the ones who God made to share the Gospel, since us introverts are too quiet to do it.” Yes, I know that’s a bogus excuse, but I used it, and told myself that I was doing what I could for God in other ways.

And then God called me out, both literally and figuratively. He called me to Mexico for 4 months to do Hands On in Oaxaca. So I went, and I taught English and worked with mission teams. I did all of the things that I was asked to do. But I still used the introvert excuse. I didn’t go out and try and meet people like I could have. I gave up my time, sure, but not my comfort, not really. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now. I was still playing the introvert card.

So then God called me again, this time for 2 years. I said okay, thinking, “I survived 4 months, I guess I can survive 2 years.” Well, this time around God wasn’t going to let me get away with the same old tricks. Because He knew my heart, and knew that I would play that same old card again, He teamed me up with a TRUE introvert. I suddenly had no choice but to be the one to speak up, ask questions, and make awkward conversation with strangers. 

So that is my life now. Although I would much rather be sitting back in a corner where no one will notice me, instead I am living in a country where having white skin makes EVERYONE notice me, and where pretty much every day I have to talk to people I barely know, and do that in my second language no less. 

Something that a dear friend of mine told me several years ago really stuck with me. She said that she was an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for the purpose of ministry. I thought I understood what she meant then, but I understand it even better now, because that is my life. God is teaching me how to get out of doing what is comfortable for me so that He can be glorified. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but every day He helps me walk out the door and talk to people. Even though I don’t always love what I have to do, I am grateful that God is teaching me how to be a fake extrovert.

Things that have happened because you are praying

Today I just wanted to share with you how INCREDIBLY THANKFUL I am for all of you who are praying for me and Candace. Looking back on the past three months I was amazed to see how many things have happened, with no other explanation than that God made them happen. And God did these things because people were praying. So here are some of the ways that YOU are making missions happen here in Veracruz.

1. Despite the rather stressful adventures that we had when we were leaving the States/first arrived here (visa troubles, flooded house, being locked out, etc.), all of these details were worked out, we never were in danger, and we got to know more people through these adventures.
2. We have a place to live all by ourselves, where we can have people over whenever we like without bothering anyone, including holding our ESL classes there.
3. It was planned that we would live in a larger village/city than the one we are in now, but the housing didn’t work out. We have since learned that the majority of the people there don’t even speak the language we are trying to learn. The roads there are often closed off for various reasons, and it would have been much more difficult to get to the city, or to meet with our teammates. 
4. Our phone wasn’t working for several weeks during our first month here, so we had to go and use the phone in a nearby internet cafe. Because of that, we met “Mona”. Through Mona we began our first ESL class, have found multiple people (including Mona herself) who are willing to help us learn the language, and were introduced to the small Christian church community that exists here in the village.
5. One of the very first people we met here has truly shown herself to be a person of peace to us, opening up doors for our 2nd ESL class and for more personal relationships with non-believers, even as she herself is not a believer. (Read more about “Mama S” HERE)
6. Despite the fact that we came here with absolutely no language resources, no one to teach us, and no money to pay anyone with, we are still daily progressing in language learning. We have met many people more than willing to help us learn their heart language, to listen to us stumble through saying the long, complicated words, and to correct us when me make mistakes (after laughing at the crazy blunders we make!).
7. Despite the fact that Candace and I are both introverts, somehow God still gives us the energy and the courage to get out and go talk to strangers in a foreign language. (Well, 2 foreign languages!). Last week He even helped us to survive standing in front of about 25 strangers as we taught them English.
8. We haven’t gotten sick! The culture here is very much a food=hospitality culture. This means that we are constantly being handed things to eat with absolutely no idea how they were prepared. Based on the kitchens that we have seen, they probably were not prepared in a very sanitary way. And yet, despite all of this, we both continue to be healthy and happy, which is a HUGE blessing.
9. We have faced very little opposition here. While there have been a few people who haven’t approved of our being here for various reasons, the majority of the people have been extremely friendly and welcoming, opening up their homes to us and showing us what real hospitality looks like.
10. We haven’t left. Candace and I frequently remind each other that every day is an adventure. Although we gotten used to some things, there is always something new and unexpected to throw us off when we get too comfortable here. Life here is pretty much the polar opposite of life in the States, and it would be very easy to wallow in self-pity and homesickness for 2 years, but God is sustaining us. We weren’t sent out to survive, but rather to thrive, and it is your prayers that are making that happen.

For all of these things, dear friends, I just want to say THANK YOU. Please know how much your support means to me, and God bless you all.

August was a hard month.

Friends, I have a confession to make. This past month, I had a whole lot of days where I didn’t want to be here. I missed my family, I missed being independent, I missed speaking English. I woke up a lot of mornings feeling like there was no point getting out of bed, because it wasn’t like I had a real schedule, I just studied and wandered around town, hoping someone would feel like talking to me. I found myself thinking about what I want to do when this is all over, and calculating how many more weeks I have to live in Mexico. I know that’s pretty much the last thing you’re supposed to do, especially when you’re feeling homesick, but I did it anyway. I wanted to leave.

Now, even though I was unhappy, I was determined to push through it. I would just keep on working, and I would MAKE myself enjoy it here. I am too proud and too stubborn to quit, so if I just kept going, I would get past the hard days, and then everything would be awesome and I would be happy. Well, I had a couple of good days, and thought I had succeeded in beating my cloudy mood. Nope. It was still hard. I felt confused, discouraged, and hopeless.

Well, yesterday Candace and I made the long, curvy drive down the mountain to do some much needed grocery shopping, and also to visit a church in the city. As it turned out, we happened to go on the weekend when the pastor was away at a conference, so another man was filling in for him. I was a bit disappointed that I wouldn’t be hearing the pastor speak, but my disappointment was quickly erased as I got caught up in the message that was being preached. He was talking about King Saul, and the way that he earned himself the disapproval of God. The man preaching shared the different ways that Saul displeased God, by following his own desires, and by acting out of his own strength rather than obeying and relying on God. 

Dear friends, that was me. Yes, I had been reading my Bible, and praying, but not sincerely. I did it because it was what I was supposed to do, but it was just a surface-level action. In reality I just wanted to do what I thought was right, and what was most comfortable for me, rather than listening to what God said He wanted me to do. I was trying to do things out of my own strength, and I was falling terribly, horribly short. Instead of trusting in God to work in this community, I was overwhelming myself with worry and stress about what to do, who to talk to, where to go, how to manage my time, etc.

Praise God that He didn’t leave me to tear myself up like that anymore! He knew that I needed to hear that message yesterday, that I needed to be rebuked and made aware of how sinful and disobedient I had been. I have no guarantees that I won’t struggle anymore, in fact, I will probably struggle more than ever. But now I know who to rely on. I know the only One who will ever make a difference in this village, and their name definitely isn’t Ellen (or Elena). He is greater than all things, and I am overwhelmingly blessed to be able to call Him Father.

Just a typical day

Okay, to start off, I have to clarify something. Even though this post is called "Just a typical day"...nothing is typical about any day here. Every day brings some new kind of adventure of some sort. So maybe I should change the name but...nah.

Here are just a few of the "typical days" that we have had this week.

On Sunday, we arrived home in the pouring rain, only to discover that the workers who had installed a new front door for us had neglected to install a door handle, so even though we had our keys, there was no way to get into our house. We could have used the windows, except there are bars over them, so instead, after a quick chat with our landlord's sister, we then turned around and drove back to our teammates house. Surprise! They got house guests for the night. They were really helpful though, and didn't complain about our unexpected intrusion.

On Monday we waited around, until we finally got word that our door now opened. Hurray! So we rushed home just in time to welcome our little class of ESL students. I'm glad we got into our house, or we might have been teaching outside in the dirt!

On Tuesday we went out to try and get some language help, so we walked up and down the road that is currently under construction. That meant climbing up over a dirt hill on the side of the road, and down over a big pile of rocks, and then coming back over it the other way, this time with our tortillas and veggies that we bought from the street vendors.

Wednesday found us eating out at "Mama S's" house, the lady who has been teaching us a lot of the language. She fed us mole (chocolate chili sauce, kinda), and then helped us learn how to count up to 20. There is nothing like learning a new language to make you feel like a little kid again, stumbling through saying "simple" words.

Thursday we took a day off, and took our first solo drive into town. Since we were on our own, we, of course, got lost, and almost missed our Skype meeting. There was a lot of trying to figure out the map, making illegal U-turns, and trying to remember that the stoplights here are vertical, and not horizontal.

Friday was more language studying. This week we wandered into the little library to see if they had any books available in our language that we could study. They didn't, but they did have and English copy of West Side Story. I also found Spanish copies of The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter #4, and The Importance of Being Ernest. Not much help for studying, but fun for me!

And then, to round off the week, this morning we got up early to let in the guy who is supposed to install cabinets in our kitchen, but he never showed up. So instead we went back to "Mama S's" and she fed us scrambled eggs mixed with black beans, and a few stems of cilantro on the side.

Life here is an adventure. I don't love every day, and sometimes I wish for a normal job where I have a normal schedule and know more of what to expect. But then I remember, God brought me here, and I get to see Him working in really special ways. So yeah, when things go wrong, it's just another typical day.

Traveling Adventures

Hi guys!

So, I know I  just posted a couple of days ago, but I had a bit of an adventure on the way home from the D.R. so I thought I would share the story :)

So, we left our hotel in the D.R. on a bus, and made it about 3 minutes down the road before one of the ladies on the bus realized that she left her passport in the hotel safe. So back we went. Then, on to the airport! Everything was pretty uneventful on the two flights (in fact, somehow I ended up in business class on both of them. No complaints there!). However, once we arrived in Mexico City, at about 11pm, we then proceeded to wait about 45 minutes for our luggage because they were having their dogs check it all. Oh fun.

After that we proceeded to share a taxi/van with another couple that our teammates know. Once we arrived at their house the plan was to drive us to the house where we were staying the night with another lady. Unfortunately, they had been required by their state to get new license plates (which weren't ready yet) so they weren't able to drive us in their own car. Instead they were borrowing a friend's car, so we were good! Except...the battery on that car was dead. Oh well, we got it jumped and were able to make it to the house and to bed by about 3 am.

The house where we stayed the night was also where we had left our teammates' car while we were in the D.R. Well, we did a bit of shopping while we were in the city, and then headed on our way to make the final 3 hour drive home. About an hour and a half in...the car overheated. So we sat and let it cool down for a little while, then drove a bit farther...until it overheated again. This time, it happened to die right in front of a mechanic shop/truck stop/hotel. The mechanic was unfortunately closed, but the car had now locked itself down, so we weren't going anywhere else. So we stayed the night in the hotel.

Thankfully, we were only about 15 minutes outside of the city at that point, so our teammate was able to call a friend who came and picked us up. After feeding us breakfast, he then volunteered to drive us the rest of the way home. Well, about 20 minutes into the drive up the mountain...his car overheated. I'm not even kidding. So, he let it cool down a bit, and then drove us back down the mountain to the bus stop. We rode the bus up to the top (the bus only died once), and then walked from the stop to the house. And we were home!

All of that to say that traveling is an adventure, but God is protecting us always!

Home.

This past week I have had the special blessing of being a part of a meeting in the Dominican Republic that included people who are serving all over North, Central, and South America. I met a TON of people! There are a lot of different things that I could talk about from this week, but in order to be able to finish this post before it is time to head back to the land of limited internet, I'm just going to stick with one thing: the definition of home.

Home is a word that I used to think represented a specific place for each person in the world, that everyone had that one place that would always be home, no matter where they are. Well, I am finding that that isn't always the case. After spending a week with all of these incredible people, and hearing them talk about where they have been and where they are going, I found that so many of them had multiple places to call home. They had homes in the United States (that they saw rarely), they had homes in the former countries that they had lived and served in, and they had homes that they were headed to at the end of the week. No one said, "Well, time to head back to the country I'm working in. Only a few more years until I get to go home!" Yeah, that definitely wasn't said. Instead, everyone said, "I'm going home!"

The craziest part of that for me was that I understood the feeling. Despite having only been in Mexico for about 3 weeks before leaving for the DR, as the week there wore on, it was Mexico that I was ready to go home to, not Arkansas. Not that I don't miss Arkansas and everyone in it, and not that I'm saying Arkansas isn't my home anymore, but God has made room in my heart for my new home as well. I am so grateful to God for making Mexico my home. I am so thankful that He has made me able to settle into this new place that He brought me to. Once again proof that if God calls you to do something, He will make you able to do it. :)

Making Friends

Hey Guys. So today, God did a pretty cool thing. Candace and I were talking last night about how this beginning part of our adventure is feeling a bit overwhelming and discouraging, mostly because we’ve been in our village for almost two weeks, and we have met practically no one. People have been really friendly, but we haven’t found anyone who we have been able to just sit and talk to for a while. Since our job for the first yearish that we are here is learning the language, we really need to find people who are willing to just sit and help us out.

Well, this morning we decided to go walking down the road to attempt to figure out at what point we can get some sort of cell phone signal. (Something is messed up with the phone that we have at our house, and we haven’t had service since thursday.) Well, as we were walking I just asked God to let us meet one person today, even just to learn someone’s name. Almost immediately, a woman stopped in the street in front of us, and starting asking us about where we were from, and why we are here. She was friendly, but then she walked away (after she laughingly asked us if we had any “dolares” from the U.S. Well, we kept walking, but couldn’t get any service, so we decided to just turn around and walk back. As we passed by the little house/restaurant that she went into, she called out to us again, so we went across the street to see what she wanted. She invited us inside, and gave us coffee and some pork and tortillas covered in SPICY salsa. (FYI, that was breakfast food). She then proceeded to sit down and talk with us, and she taught us a few words in our language! She even found an old 1st grade textbook in the language we have to learn, and she gave it to us as a gift! After refusing to take money for the food, she invited us to come back any time when we have more words we want to learn. 

I know that what she did wasn’t a big thing to her, she was just being friendly and curious about us, but it was a SUPER encouragement to me. Little by little we will learn our language, and meet our people. God didn’t bring us here and then leave us here alone. He has a plan for the two years that we have with these sweet people, and He is the One who will make things happen, in His timing. 

Beginning...

Hello friends! Well, we have officially survived our first two weeks in Mexico! It has been a bit chaotic, but things are finally settling down a bit. 

Here is a summary of what I have done so far:

Traveling (and almost missing my connecting flight!). Visiting the Teotihuacan pyramids in Mexico City with a U.S. team that was visiting, working to get Bible stories into Mexican Sign Language. Traveling by bus from Mexico City to Puebla, where we then met up with another missionary couple who brought us our car. Then we drove from Puebla to Veracruz, where we checked into a hotel. 

For the next three days we stayed in the hotel, and were given a tour of the city by a local believer. Finally, on day 7 in Mexico, we drove out to our village, only to discover that the house wasn’t quite ready to live in yet. So we drove to a nearby village where our teammates live, stayed the night with them, and then drove back to work on our house the next day. 

We arrived to find that a water line had been left open, and half of the house was flooded. What an adventure! Thankfully nothing too important was damaged, (although one rug was soaked, and we had to take it outside to dry…and it’s the rainy season…). Unfortunately, most of my clothes were in a duffel bag on the floor, and the washer and dryer weren’t set up yet, so we got to make a makeshift clothesline to save them! Despite the flood, we were able to get everything livable enough, and we got to spend our first night in our new home :) 

Since then we have just been unpacking a bunch of boxes of random things that were sent to us from a mission house that was just sold, so we found a lot of very interesting things that we are still trying to find a home for :)

We have been blessed with some wonderful neighbors here. Our house is right behind a little shop, and the owners of that shop have been so kind to us, answering all of our random questions and showing us around the village. They even invited us to their daughter’s birthday party on our second day here! We are so grateful to them for their help, and are praying that we have the opportunity to be witnesses to them over the next two years. 

We are still learning what our lives will look like while we are here, but I know that God will provide the things that we need, including a language tutor! (The language is a BIT more complicated than Spanish…) We are blessed to be able to be here, and are praying that God will use us however He chooses.

An Honest Confession

Here is the truth: I hate being out of control.

When I was packing up, getting ready to get on a plane and leave Virginia on Monday, I received an email regarding my visa to Mexico. Long story short, the paperwork that I didn't know I was waiting for was finally ready, and I needed to take it to the Mexican consulate...in Virginia. Did I mention I was about to get on a plane to leave Virginia? Cue the tears of frustration (and seriously, I almost never cry).

Well, I tried to take the advice of some very wise people, and just rest in God, knowing that He is in control, and to take my thoughts captive instead of stressing about it. God helped me out with that a bit by giving me some very chatty seat mates on the planes, so I couldn't just sit and worry for hours on end!

After arriving home, I checked my email, only to find out that I had been requested not to leave Virginia. Oops. Thankfully, I have some understanding supervisors. Then began a flurry of emails and phone calls between myself and what feels like about a thousand other people, all trying to work things out so that I can get on a plane next thursday with a visa in hand. Well, let me tell you something: when there are "a thousand" other people trying to work things out for you, you don't have control of the situation. So all I have been able to do has been to sit and wait for the next email, or the next phone call, and hope that soon someone out there will find the solution and will tell me what to do.

Yeah, I don't like being out of control. However, I truly do believe when the Bible says that God works all things for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose. Because I believe that, I have been trying to figure out what in the world God is working out in this for me, what His purpose is in all of this chaos. Well, I think it should be pretty apparent what a possible lesson I could be that God is trying to teach me. I need to give Him COMPLETE control of my life. I thought when I surrendered to His call on me to do international missions that that was giving Him control of my life. Ha. That was barely even letting go with my pinky finger. But, I am going into a situation where I don't know the language, I don't know the culture, I have absolutely no idea what to expect, or even what is expected of me by my team. I am going to make a billion mistakes. However, God does not the language, the culture, what is coming, and what people expect of me. It makes a lot more sense for Him to be in control than for me, right?

Still, I hate being out of control. Please pray for me, as God continues to teach me how to trust Him and His timing.

Flexibility

Hi guys!

I have unfortunately been slacking in the blog/newsletter department for the past month or so. Sorry guys, I haven't forgotten about you! Things have been CRAZY here in Richmond, but they are finally drawing to a close, and so I have just a few minutes to catch you all up on everything that has been happening.

One interesting development is that Candace and I will be taking a bit of a detour from our original plan to go straight to Veracruz. Instead we are headed to spend a yet-undetermined amount of time in my "other home", Oaxaca! It is a long, complicated story that even I don't fully understand about how that came about, but it has happened, so there is nothing left to do except just go with it :)

Just so you know, as much as I love Oaxaca, and as excited as I am to get to see a bucketful of friends who are there, I was not able to immediately accept the change in plans with a joyful attitude. When you are planning to move to another city, much less another country, it is comforting to do  some research and figure out as much as you can about what your life will be like there. So when I was unexpectedly told that everything I had been planning for wasn't actually going to happen, (at least not on the timeframe that I expected), I struggled. I was taking comfort in facts and details, hoping to control as many things as possible so that I could be as prepared as possible. I guess God knew that I would rely on myself if I felt prepared, so He turned things around to make me rely on Him alone :)

So that is the current excitement in my life. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I'LL BE IN MEXICO IN 2 WEEKS?????



Have you ever had God change your plans? Tell me your stories! (Seriously, I am learning that I love people's stories.)

Comment or email (ellen.burns29@gmail.com) or whatever you want, but I want to know how God has been working :)

My Crochet Teachers

Okay Sarah Jo, here is my attempt at completing your challenge word! (See “stories” post if you’re confused!)

When I was growing up, I had a lot of women in my life who taught me a lot of different things. One of those things was how to crochet. My grandmother, my great-grandmother, and several different women from my church all had a hand in teaching me the basics of crochet at various points in time. They helped me mend my mistakes, so that whatever I was making could still be useful. I can’t say that I ever became a master at it, but because of the time that they spent teaching me, I at least learned the basics. It was also extremely helpful knowing that if I ever had a question, I could go to one of them, and they would help me figure out a solution.

Well, there was something else that these women, and many others, also taught me. They taught me the most important thing of all: how to follow God. They began with the basics, like how God created the world, and everything in it, including mankind. They told me how mankind made a mistake, and sinned against God. They also told me how God provided a way to fix that mistake, how God wanted to make all of us useful again, for His glory. God did this by sending His Son Jesus to earth, to live as a man, and to die to pay for our sins. Then God raised Jesus back to life again! These wonderful people in my life then taught me that I must surrender my life completely to God, to allow God to change me, to forgive me for all of my sins, and to use me for His glory. 

Although I don’t get the opportunity to use what these women taught me about crochet very often, what they taught me about following God is something that I use every single day. It is because of those lessons that I am going where I am going, and doing what I am doing. I am so grateful to God for putting people in my life who were willing to spend time teaching me.

Stories

Hi everyone!

So here is a random fact about my life: I have started telling a lot of stories. Let me explain. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but somehow Candace and I started this game where she gives me a word, and I have to think of some story from my life, or that I've heard, or some such thing that somehow relates to the word that she gave me. Thanks to my crazy friends and family, I have a lot of random stories and experiences to share!

Well, we played that for a bit yesterday, and then last night I got to thinking about it, and I had an idea. What if I could figure out a way to somehow use all of these random stories in my head to bring a conversation around to the gospel?

So that is the challenge that I am giving myself. Any chance you would like to help me out? If you post a random word or topic in the comments, I will do my best to think of a good story that goes with it, including the gospel, and post it on here.

What do you think?

:)

Obedience

I have only been here in Virginia for almost two weeks, and already I have done/experienced so many things that I never anticipated. I've made friends with complete strangers, moved into the "others" village from LOST (okay, not really, it just kinda looks like it), worshipped in a house church setting, started running on a regular basis, and survived (thus far) on cafeteria food for three meals a day. I have also been incredibly blessed to meet and be taught by people who have together spent hundreds of years living in other countries, sharing the gospel. It's not terribly difficult to understand now why people say you're not the same person when you leave training as you were when you came.

As I listened to the speakers, and learned about all of the rules and the way things run here, I was amazed at the way that the leadership had a Biblical basis for everything that they do. Okay, so the Bible doesn't say "thou shalt run daily", but it does say that our bodies are the temple of the Lord. It doesn't say that we must eat cafeteria food daily, but it does say that God will supply all of our needs. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my perspective on things is changing.

I have also been learning a lot about obedience. I don't know that I've really admitted this to many people before, but I did not want to be a Journeyman. I wanted to have a normal life and do what normal people do. I wanted a husband, a family, a job; all of the things that normal people supposedly have. So when I was preparing for graduation, and almost applied to be a Journeyman, I wouldn't do it, and applied for Hands On instead. Then, when I came back from Mexico last year, even though I had finally begun the Journeyman application process, I began looking for permanent jobs, secretly hoping that I would find a good enough job that I could justify not leaving the country again. Well, that didn't work out. I soon found myself back working in fast food, something that I definitely didn't see being a permanent job for me. And the husband and family thing? That was clearly not something God had in mind for me, at least not for right then/now.

Are you catching the pattern here? I was being disobedient to God's call, but He didn't give up on me. He put me in a place where all I could do was surrender to Him, to be obedient to Him. I'm still in a bit of denial about the reality of my future, but God has given me peace that this is truly where He wants me to be.

So here is my encouragement to you. If you are running from something that God is calling you to do, don't worry, He'll get you there anyway. You running just makes it a more difficult journey. Trust me, I've been there.

How I got to where I'm going

With the beginning of my adventure only two weeks away, I've been reflecting on how I even got to this point in my life. Looking back, I can see how God was working in so many small ways to bring me to where I am, or rather to where I'm about to be. It's enough to make me want to cry when I really examine how God has brought me to this place in my life, and it humbles me immensely to know how much He didn't give up on me, even when I fought against doing His will. So here is just a small taste of what I've been looking back on these past several days. I hope that it will be encouraging to you as you look for God's hand in your own life as well. (P.S. I know it's rather long, but I promise this is the shortened version!)


 

I went on my first mission trip when I was 16 years old. I had been studying a little Spanish in high school, and attempting to practice it at work with my Spanish-speaking coworkers, so when the opportunity came to travel to Guatemala with my church, I was excited to gain even more experience using Spanish. I had never been out of the country, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but my dad and sister were going too, so I wasn’t too worried. Although we didn’t spend much time in the city, it was the first time that I was surrounded by people who all looked different than I did, and all spoke a different language. It was a really good experience for me, being able to see how people in other countries live and to see how there is so much of an opportunity to serve and share the love of God with others around the world.

The second time I traveled outside of the country I spent a week in Oaxaca, Mexico. On this trip I was able to experience several very different kinds of ministry: working with kids in villages, seeing the work being done through the Mexican seminary there, and getting connected in a village by doing water projects and agricultural work. While there I was able to share the gospel in Spanish for the first time, despite my lack of fluency in the language, and I saw up close the poverty and the need of the people there, both financial and spiritual need.

After that trip my life filled up with work, school, church activities, and everything else that takes up time and energy. I blinked and all of the sudden I was looking at graduating early, but with absolutely no idea what I was going to do when I wasn’t in school anymore. I began considering applying for an interpreting program, but when I looked into the details of it, I found out that they preferred to have people who had spent at least two years in a Spanish-speaking country. Because I had met several people who had done international missions and loved it, I began looking into missions programs, selfishly thinking that I could do that to get Spanish practice in another country, and not really focusing on the real purpose of going as a missionary to another country; namely, to share the gospel.

Well, God being God, and knowing my heart, led me down a different path. I began to fill out the application to be a Journeyman, but I never made it past the first page of the application. It looked like a lot of information that I wasn’t prepared to give, so I figured I would just go back and fill it out later. I didn’t realize it at the time, but God knew I wasn’t ready. While on the website for the Journeyman application, somehow I stumbled across a page that was listing opportunities for students to serve in the Hands On program. When I saw several jobs in Oaxaca, somewhere I had already spent a short amount of time, I jumped at the opportunity. I quickly applied, and then spent several long months waiting to hear back, until finally, during my last semester of college I heard back that I had been accepted.

So I was headed to Mexico. I was mentally prepared, ready to go back to a place that I had been before, that would have plenty of internet so I could stay connected to home and all of that, when I got an email asking me to pray about leaving a few weeks earlier to help with a missionary training in Suriname. I of course then googled Suriname since I had no idea what/where in the world it was, found out more information, and prayed about it. Long story short, I ended up living on an island in the jungle for over a month, with no phone, internet, and very little electricity or plumbing. God had decided to stretch me.

While I was in the jungle, I had the incredible opportunity to meet several different families of missionaries, who were serving in countries all over South America, and one of their favorite topics of conversation was about the need for more missionaries, more Journeyman to help with the work, to commit to serve for more time than just a few weeks or months. Only a few weeks after taking my first solo airplane ride, God was beginning to prepare me to do more of His work.

So, when I arrived in Mexico a few short weeks later, it didn’t take me long to fall in love with the people and the culture, as well as just the experience of living in a foreign country. The comfort that God had given me in being there, added to the comments made by the missionaries in Suriname, and compounded by the fact that one of the main people I was working with in Oaxaca was a former Journey girl all led me back to that daunting Journeyman application. I nervously opened it up early one morning, just to see what it looked like, and…I filled the entire thing out in one sitting. God’s leading was undeniable at that point. So there I was, in Mexico, and applying for a position that would take me out of the United States once again. It wasn’t easy for me to tell my parents about that (they took the news really well.)

Fast-forward about nine months, until November 2013. I had been back in the country for several months, and I was invited to the job expo to officially interview, and to find out what the actual available positions were. Although the expo was only a few days long, God’s hand was again apparent in the way that He led me to the job that I will soon be leaving to begin doing. I’ve never felt the peace and excitement that I felt after talking to the missionaries that I will be working with, and hearing them speak about the people group and the different work that we will be doing to reach those people with the gospel.

I feel incredibly blessed that God has chosen to use me to serve Him in Veracruz, Mexico, that I will be used to be His hands and feet to these people. I don’t know what the next two years will look like, but God has made it clear to me that He is working out His plans for me one step at a time, so I know that I can trust Him to always be with me and lead me where I need to be.

One Year Later

Since today marked the one year anniversary of the beginning of my international adventures, I thought I would write a quick post to commemorate the occasion, as well as to give an update on life.

So yes, one year ago today. It was one of those days where I remember certain things in great detail, like repacking my bag 10 times to make sure I had everything I needed, while other things I have no memory of at all, like how I spent the entire day until about 5 pm. (Seriously, I don't remember much of anything about that day until right before I was about to leave. Weird. ) I do remember the feeling of freaking out a bit, then talking to a couple of people on the phone and wanting to cry but being too stubborn to let myself give into it. Of course, once I hugged my mom goodbye, and we started to drive off I had to give in and cry a little bit, just to get it out of my system :)

And so it began. It was an adventure that I often have trouble believing actually happened to me, and that I actually experienced the things that I experienced. I have been very blessed by the opportunities that I've had, especially those in the jungles of Suriname, and in the mountains of Mexico.

Now for the most exciting part of this post: the future aspect of this story. Something else that was begun almost a year ago was my application for a missions job. Well, consider this my official announcement that I'm going back to Mexico! I'm going back to the country where I was living when I decided that God wanted more of me, more of my time and my life, more willingness to go and serve. So there you have it. 1 year ago I left home, and about three months from now I will be leaving home again. I am thankful that I have a home to leave behind, and a home to move on to, because my God is with me wherever I go.