Leaving it in His hands

With less than five weeks to go until I take a one-way flight back to the U.S., there are a lot of things going on in my head. One of the many emotions I am dealing with is sadness. When I got on the plane two years ago that would bring me here to Mexico, I was sad to say goodbye to family and friends, but I also knew that I would be going back there. I knew that I would be able to keep in touch with people back in America via the internet, or (somewhat unreliable) phone service. It won’t be like that in reverse. 

When I leave this little village that has been my home for nearly two years, I don’t know if/when I might possibly be able to come back. I won’t be able to text anyone here, and the few people who use Facebook check it an average of twice a month, if that often. As a last resort I could send a card or letter, it just might take a couple of months to arrive, and then a couple more after that to receive a reply. So basically, when I drive away from this village, I have to say goodbye knowing that it could be the last I see or hear from anyone here. I’m hopeful that that won’t be the case, but I have to accept that it is a possibility. It is a painful reality to face. 

Possibly the most painful part of it is the fact that I will be losing the opportunity to share God’s Word with people here. Over the past few months God has been at work in the lives of several of my dear friends, and I have been blessed by the opportunities He has given me to talk with them about the Bible, about questions that they have, and to share with them God’s plan of salvation. They are seeking after God, but so far they haven’t recognized that He is the ONLY way to find peace and salvation. I will continue sharing with them over the next several weeks, but then I have to leave them behind, and move on to whatever God has next for me. Oh how I pray that God will continue bringing people into their lives who will share Truth with them!

As I said, this is a sad time for me, but I also have a lot to be thankful for. God has blessed me in so many ways, and I owe Him thanks daily for all that He does for me. During this difficult time of preparing to say goodbye, while also scrambling to finish up the Bible story recordings, God has blessed me with “peace that surpasses all understanding…” Despite the many things that I could be worrying about, I know that I can trust God to work it all out for good. My friends are in His hands, my future is in His hands, and I have nothing to worry about.

The Things I Still Have To Do

With less than three months left until I move back to the U.S.A. I have a lot of different things going on in my mind. I’m excited to be back in a country where I don’t have to think so hard just to have a conversation, and where a visit with friends and family doesn’t require a passport. I’m a little stressed when I think about the translation work left to do and how little time I have to do it. I’m sad that soon I will have to say a whole lot of goodbyes to some dear friends, not knowing if/when I may see them again. This life is bittersweet, let me tell you. 

Encompassing all of these emotions is one question: What should I do? What should I do today to move the translation process forward? What should I do with my friends here while I still have the chance? What should I do to prepare for life in America? What should I do with my life after this is all over? There is a part of me that wants to hide under the covers until someone comes along who can answer all of those questions for me. It’s hard, this not knowing what the future holds. Especially when I can make my plans, have everything all set in my mind, and then something happens that makes it all fall apart. (Let’s just say that I’ve had a few (dozen) plans fall apart in the last couple of years.)

So what am I supposed to do? If I can’t plan, and I can’t decide what my future will bring, what options are left for me?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5

As I look ahead to three months from now, I don’t know what life will look like for me. I have to trust that God will have a job for me somewhere, and a place for me to live. I have to trust that I will survive saying a lot of painful goodbyes. But most of all I have to trust that my friends here who aren’t following God, who are being tempted by the world and by false teachers, are in God’s hands. I have to believe that God loves them so much more than I ever can, and He knows how to reach their hearts in ways that I never could. Their futures and mine all belong to God, and He alone knows what the future holds. So all I can do is trust Him.