With less than three months left until I move back to the U.S.A. I have a lot of different things going on in my mind. I’m excited to be back in a country where I don’t have to think so hard just to have a conversation, and where a visit with friends and family doesn’t require a passport. I’m a little stressed when I think about the translation work left to do and how little time I have to do it. I’m sad that soon I will have to say a whole lot of goodbyes to some dear friends, not knowing if/when I may see them again. This life is bittersweet, let me tell you.
Encompassing all of these emotions is one question: What should I do? What should I do today to move the translation process forward? What should I do with my friends here while I still have the chance? What should I do to prepare for life in America? What should I do with my life after this is all over? There is a part of me that wants to hide under the covers until someone comes along who can answer all of those questions for me. It’s hard, this not knowing what the future holds. Especially when I can make my plans, have everything all set in my mind, and then something happens that makes it all fall apart. (Let’s just say that I’ve had a few (dozen) plans fall apart in the last couple of years.)
So what am I supposed to do? If I can’t plan, and I can’t decide what my future will bring, what options are left for me?
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5
As I look ahead to three months from now, I don’t know what life will look like for me. I have to trust that God will have a job for me somewhere, and a place for me to live. I have to trust that I will survive saying a lot of painful goodbyes. But most of all I have to trust that my friends here who aren’t following God, who are being tempted by the world and by false teachers, are in God’s hands. I have to believe that God loves them so much more than I ever can, and He knows how to reach their hearts in ways that I never could. Their futures and mine all belong to God, and He alone knows what the future holds. So all I can do is trust Him.
